Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Oh, I think there's something in my contact

If you are unacquainted with Gary Larson's The Far Side, I'm sorry that your life has been so meaningless thus far. Larson's humor is a stellar example of my own, the subtle and eccentric. He has a very nice piece that shows a, presumably Middle-Eastern man, attempting to change a contact lens whilst sitting against a lying down camel in the midst of a dust storm. The caption is something to the effect of "Bad places to change your contacts."

Last night, when I was awake at 3:30 because Elena ate about a pound of grass and decided to regurgitate it, I was realizing I have no idea how to survive a sand storm. There are plenty of things I have no idea how to survive (martial law, zombie apocalypse, tsunami) but, with all the rationale that comes with 3:30 in the morning, it seemed critical to me that I learn how to endure this particular calamity. Keep in mind, I live in the Plains, plenty of grass, no nearby deserts or sand dunes, but you never know, okay? Anyway, I'm delighted to inform you that I am now knowledgeable in sand storm survival and you can be too. Thanks WikiHow! Needless to say, I will be sure to carry water and petroleum jelly with me at all times. I wonder if chapstick would work just as well as the jelly? I always have chapstick. Also, interesting note about the above article, you are supposed to not get low to the ground because that's where the highest concentration of particles are but do stay low to the ground in order to avoid heavier flying objects? I'm imagining this to be a sort of duck, rise, and shuffle evasive maneuver.

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