I Hate My Job

I work for a church and, for the most part, it's pretty great. I work with and for wonderful people. I can listen to Pandora or old time radio all day. I can check my facebook, email, twitter, and news feeds anytime I want. But I hate my job when:

Conversations with my husband, Sunday edition

Our church has beautiful modern stained glass windows. By modern, I mean they don't have people. The subjects of the windows are Christian symbols, like a baptismal shell, crosses, communion chalice, rather than Biblical scenes. Which I appreciate because I always think stained glass window people look kind of silly, unless they're iconized (no, that is not a word) or made to look more like cartoons. Anyway, during service on Sunday, Buddy Holly was trying to decipher the meanings of the symbols and running them by me.
Buddy Holly: Okay, that one has a crown and INRI was the plaque nailed to the top of the cross. I get that. And the one next to it has a PX, which has something do with peace.
Me: Yes, "pax" means peace in Latin.
Buddy Holly: And then there's the dove, which is a symbol of peace throughout the Bible. And, what the hell is the last one? An albatross descending into hell?
Me: An albatross? Really?
Buddy Holly: Yeah, you just can't see the guy.
Me: The guy?
Buddy Holly: Yeah, the guy killed the albatross and is wearing it on the end of a necklace around his neck, and the albatross is dragging the guy into hell.
Me: That's a phoenix. You know, rising from the flames. Resurrection.
Buddy Holly: Well that's not Christian. I mean, resurrection is but the phoenix is not a Christian symbol. Obviously, that's an albatross dragging a guy into hell.
Me: I think you need to reread the Bible and The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner.
Buddy Holly: I'm pretty sure The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner is a book of the Bible.

I love a husband who mixes his literature and theology.

Springtime for Hitler and Germany

I Just finished reading Footprints on the Horizon by Stephanie Grace Whitson. It was ok. It was on my research list because her period setting is similar to my own novel (WWII, Post-War Nebraska) and I wanted to read some other works to get a feel for how they approached it.

It was published by Bethany House. If that doesn't immediately speak to you, change the name to Zondervan. I have no problems with books including faith and religion, it's not for everyone but, as a Christian, I don't mind. I even believe there are authors who manage to weave it in and apply their character's faith without it being heavy handed, as in the case of Liz Curtis Higgs. This was not one such example. I was kind of miffed when the one Catholic character was (praise the Lord!) saved at the end of the book and converted to Baptist. Apparently, this character became quite fiery and was intent on starting up a revival. Sigh. I have no beef with the Baptist church but a smidge of denominational diversity was not going to hurt anyone.

Those complaints aside this story did raise an interesting point for me. Footprints on the Horizon is set in Crawford, Nebraska, a small town just outside of the Fort Robinson military reservation. Toward the end of WWII, Fort Robinson served as a prisoner of war camp. With the shortage of men, many ranches and farms used prisoner of war labor and it was controversial. Footprints on the Horizon deals with, among other things, the community of Crawford's initial hate and distrust of the German prisoners and eventually coming to befriend them as human beings and not Nazis. It's not a new concept. We all learned in school about the radical freak out about Germans (and Japanese) during the war. Street names were changed to sound less German. Families of German descent were considered suspicious and their shops and stores were boycotted. Anyone having anything to do with Germany was considered to be a potential Nazi. And obviously, every one who fought on Hitler's side was in love with the master race and readily killed Jews. I would hope that, by this time, everyone recognizes and accepts the untruth of those assumptions. Many German soldiers were impressionable young men who believed they were fighting for the good of their homeland. Many soldiers and civilians had no idea about the atrocities going on in the labor camps. Many who were faced with the injustice of neighbors being taken away stood up to defend them. Many were just trying to protect their families. Not every German was a Nazi. Not every Nazi was a barbarous killer. This is not to say that atrocities and injustices weren't done and this is not to excuse those who were "just following orders" and took no moral stand, Nuremburg addressed that. The point I want to make is when we look at German now we don't assume they're a Nazi. We don't shun our Shrader and Zimmermann neighbors because their families hailed from Germany.

So, why do we assume all Middle Easterners are Muslim extremists? Why do we assume all Muslims are attempting to destroy the United States, Christianity, and apple pie? Why, ten years out from the 9/11 attacks, do we still assume that every Muslim American harbors a secret hatred of their country? Well, I don't assume that. Maybe you don't either. There are people that do. There are people who think that burqas should be outlawed because people could be hiding bombs and shit under them. There are people who think that we need to outlaw Sharia law now because otherwise one day we'll all have to answer to it. And there are people who are idiots for all these reasons. Sorry, that wasn't said in Christian love. There are people whom God did not grant much intelligence and whose hearts are the size of the Grinch's pre-Cindy-Lou-Who.

I'm tired of hearing about whether or not a religion is "peaceful". Except perhaps Satanism, which I'm not sure if that's technically defined as a religion or not, I'm pretty sure peace is widely accepted as being a "good idea" by most faiths and creeds. And I have yet to learn of a religion in which violence was not widely implemented as the means of establishing that peace. Christians, we have no room to talk about being a "peaceful" religion. The crusades always come to mind, of course, and you might say, "But that was the Catholics, and everyone knows they're just as bad." And to you I say, "Iconoclasm, witch hunts, Anabaptists, Westboro Baptist Church." So, let's all just check our baggage at the door, shall we? Can we all just get on with our lives following Wheaton's law?

P.S. Why is apple pie so American anyway?

Church Politics

It is said that money and sex are the two leading causes of divorce. I would venture that they are the driving impulses for more than marital discord. The cynic in me would even go so far as to say that sex and money, not love, are what makes the world go round. That aside, examples of the divisive nature of money and sex are to be found anywhere. In my own life, money is making itself most prevalent at Church. Yay.

Church Politics are a delicate thing. Mostly because they aren't supposed to be there. We're supposed to work together, buttress our sisters and brothers, and work for the good of all. But we're still us and history is riddled with the sad trippings-up of Church. All of Paul's letters were written to struggling Churches, the Nicene creed was written to straighten out a few grievous misunderstandings, the division of the Orthodox and Catholic Churches lies in the politics surrounding the papacy, the Reformation was a wonderful mix of Church politics and state politics, America - fled to because of good ol' Church politics. And, just now, my Church is steeped in politics and divided due to a lack of money (maybe better than an abundance of sex? Maybe not, maybe everyone would be less uptight then...). I understand human nature, the need to survive, protect, and flock but this divided camps thing is getting old. Petty backbiting and gossip are beneath us and particularly disheartening from the perspective of one who sits between the camps, unable and unwilling to take sides. Maybe this goes back to my last post but I kind of wonder when we, as the human race, are going to grow up.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go have chocolate cake for breakfast because that's the grown up thing to do.

What are we waiting for?

The first week of Advent was this past Sunday. You may not be from a religious tradition that celebrates or any religious tradition at all but this is the beginning of the liturgical Church calendar and the season that proceeds Christmas. The four Sundays before Christmas mark the season of waiting for the advent (from the Latin adventus meaning "come") of Christ. In sermons throughout this season you will hear correlations drawn between a child's eager anticipation of Christmas morning and how we ought to look forward to the coming of Christ and the salvation of the world. That analogy is great the first time you hear it but here's my problem. He already came. And went. And came again. Maybe I'm crazy because my beliefs on the Second Coming are a little (way) less literal and apocalyptic. But why are we waiting around?

Look, (sorry, I'm about get real Christian here, if you aren't into theology, now's the time to go get a drink or popcorn) Christ already did His thing. He gave us the road map and He opened the gate. I don't get why we (Christians) ponce around so much waiting for more. We wait upon the Lord and we're waiting for the Day and we treat our planet like crap because it doesn't matter, we've got a heavenly home waiting. And I think that is BS. Heaven is here, now, and within our grasp. It is our choice to make heaven on earth, "Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me" and whatnot. I recently heard peace described as everyone doing God's will. Whether or not you believe God has a will or even if there is a God, I think we can all agree that peace is a good idea and, if we all worked at it, that'd be awesome. But we don't and I think Christians are particularly at fault because we hype it all the time and then twiddle our thumbs waiting for Christ to come do it for us. This has got to stop! If you want the Christmas spirit to really live in everyone's hearts this season, stop sending out Christmas cards with the 'Christ' part of Christmas highlighted and maybe act a little nicer to people on Black Friday or any day for that matter.

I'm just as much to blame and we're all hypocrites and I get that total world peace is a BIG dream. But even if we tried, just a little? If we stopped waiting and wondering and actually did something about it? To quote Win a Date with Tad Hamilton, "As my father told me when I said I'd never get that job in a bar: 'Honey, your odds go up when you file an application.'" So, this year, Advent is not my season of waiting or anticipation but my season of Carpe Pacem. I'm going to go out there and own this Advent. I hope you do too.

BTW, I have no idea how I'm going to do this. Be nicer and more perfect than I already I am? Impossible.

The Rapture, round two

The world was supposed to end today. After Harold Camping's prediction of a May 21st Rapture failed, he explained that it had been a quiet Rapture and that God had been merciful, a reprieve for the saving of more souls. The real end, the blow out, would come today, October 21st, 2011. Don't know about you but I'm not missing anyone from my address book and I know some pretty good people. I know some heathens and heretics too, I'm not surprised to see them though.

Anyway, going to Rapture. BRB.

Sunday in New York

Another favorite movie during this crisp Autumn time is Sunday in New York. This 1963 sex comedy stars Jane Fonda as Eileen, who has taken a leave of absence from work to visit her brother in New York after being thrown over by boyfriend, Russ. The crux of the break up was Eileen's resistance to premarital relations and Russ isn't the first beau she's lost to her old-fashioned ideals. Eileen is convinced she's the last 22-year old virgin on Earth. Eileen's brother Adam, a philandering airline pilot, swears he himself is as virtuous and that her suppositions of commonplace immorality are all wrong. In the course of her first Sunday visiting, Eileen meet-cutes Mike (Rod Taylor) on a 5th Avenue bus. They spend the afternoon together and, after getting caught in a downpour, make a run back to brother Adam's apartment to dry off and have some hot drinks. It is during their afternoon's conversation that Eileen finds the negligee of one of Adam's girlfriends in the closet and she realizes his lie to her. Fired up by her brother's betrayal and tried of being protected, Eileen makes a pass at Mike, which he gladly accepts, until he realizes this is her first rod-eo (cowboy). Cut to the pair in bathrobes, Eileen on the couch crying and Mike stalking around the apartment, smoking like a chimney. A girl has to start somewhere but it's not going to be with him. While recovering from their failed seduction and Mike waxing eloquent that Eileen's a nice girl and should stay that way, Russ (boyfriend) appears and eagerly proposes to his berobed love, before turning to Mike and greeting him as Adam, presuming him to be Eileen's brother. Well, the ruse would work just fine, but, of course, actual-Adam now appears and has to be played off as a friend to fake-Adam-Mike. Actual-Adam is quick to pick up on the situation and none too happy at the idea of his sister alone in the apartment with a strange man. Farce ensues as the trio struggles with how to tell Russ about the mistaken identities without losing the marriage proposal.

A hot cuppa

When it comes to cooking, Betty Crocker is my go-to gal. Just this evening she gave me a fantastic recipe for sage potatoes. Many Christmases ago my brother, Snur, and wife gave me the vintage Betty Crocker cookbook, circa 1950. This is the coup of cookbooks, the climax of culinary compendiums! This is the Betty Crocker that provides not only recipes and a guide to setting your table but tips on how to maintain personal outlook  ("While children are napping, do something refreshing. Write, knit, or listen to pleasant music"), how to maintain health and posture during chores ("Alternate sitting down tasks and stranding up tasks. Don't be on your feet too long at one time"), and how to refresh your spirit ("Notice humorous and interesting incidents to relate at dinnertime") (pg. 431). It is only missing a page on how to mix hubby a cocktail before he gets home ("Remember Ladies, no man wants a slothful wife!") (the cookbook doesn't actually say that) (I kind of wish it did). This is my absolute favorite cookbook and I use it any chance I get, simply because it's vintage. I love anything old-fashioned. Buddy Holly would say that I'm actually just a hater, particularly of anything newer than 1965, which is factually incorrect because I love Back to the Future and have a deep affinity for Grooveshark, thank you very much.