Thursday, September 29, 2011


I'm getting older. It's attacking me from all sides. I decided long ago to accept age with grace and aplomb (haha, yeah right), to not fight wrinkles at the age of thirty and, depending how soon it kicks in, not dye my hair. We'll see, I'm only twenty-four just now, but it is humorous to see how quickly age is catching me up. Time is often depicted as a relentless creep, something that stalks you with slow steps. But it seems to me (at the moment, at least) that age pounced upon me. I went from a college gal, pulling all-nighters and making 3:00am doughnut runs, to a stodgy spinster, who also happens to be ironically married, in a matter of months. Really, if I weren't allergic to them, we'd probably have ten cats (please don't mention that two dogs is roughly the size equivalent of ten cats). Now, there are a few things that I choose to do (or not do) which aid in my aging process:
1. Lack of exercise. Gosh, I'd love to be someone who enjoys exercise but frankly, walking the dogs and some light yoga is about as active as I get. With Winter coming on, my chances of waking early enough to get my heart rate going is drastically decreasing. I've noticed I'm not as flexible as I once was, even in normal stretches, and my knees make a definitive cracking sound when I crouch. Maybe I should work on that.
2. As before stated, I love anything vintage. My particular eras are the 1920's-1950's. If I had been my age in 1947, I would have been born in 1923 which would make me roughly 88 about now. And, let's face it, somewhere inside, I am 88. We watch the Wheel of Fortune, daily. Also, I'm cold, so go put on a sweater.
3. I have the taste palate of an old person. Dried apricots? Yummy. Stew? Tasty! Hot cup of tea? Daily necessity.

In a few years, when Buddy Holly and I have children, I will quickly devolve into a Mom-Jeans wearing, Mom-translator needing, Honda Odyssey driving, out of touch, suburbanite. I am proud to say that I currently do not drink coffee. Caffeine dramatically affects me and I've managed to maintain a normal lifestyle without it. I recognize that will change the instant I have a newborn.

What really brought the aging process home for me today was that I spent about 20 minutes of my lunch break compiling a list of weekly TV shows I'd like to keep up on. Because I can't remember what night Up All Night is on (Wednesday) and I sure as hell don't know which channel New Girl belongs to (FOX). Next thing you know, I'll have that little slip of paper taped to the back of the remote which tells me what number each channel is. I actually don't know what number each channel is. I let Buddy Holly figure that out.

Anyway, bedtime is ten latest in our house. I love Werther's and hard peppermint candies. I'm worried about seeing the Beach Boys in concert because the show doesn't start till 8 and how will I stay awake? And I do have a grey hair, just the one though and I keep plucking it. But I think I'm okay with getting older, remember aplomb. Now that age has made a significant leap into my life, I'm hoping to plateau for the next thirty years or so. Anyway, if you really want to feel old ask an eleven-year old if they know who the guy from the Hanes commercial is. If you don't have an eleven-year old handy, just visit this XKCD.

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