Sauced Silverscreen: Gypsy (1962) & the other half-bottle of Lulu B. Pinot Noir

I started watching Gypsy on Sunday evening a week ago and the first half hour just dragged. But I knew Natalie Wood made an appearance in this film and I was determined to tough it out and see her part. I told Buddy Holly if she showed up and it still dragged, we'd just drop it. So on we went through some more plot exposition and singing, and then Natalie Wood appeared and it was still boring and then, just when I was about to give up hope, she started singing to a lamb wearing a diaper.

Me: You know what's weird about this movie? All the songs are really specific. Rather than a song about love or a person, it's about what's happening right at that moment. It's like a Taylor Swift song.

Buddy Holly: You know what's weird about this movie? She's singing to a lamb wearing a diaper.
Me: ...Yeah...turn it off, I'm going to have to start it over and blog about it. This is too ridiculous to not have its own entry.

So, here we are. I knew I'd need alcohol to get through this one, so grab something to drink and come hear the tale of Gypsy Rose Lee.

Sauced Silverscreen: Show Boat (1951) & Guinness Draught

Okay, this is becoming a thing, so I'm just going to make it an official feature. Welcome to Sauced Silverscreen. This is where I watch a movie, usually made prior to 1990 (not always), while drinking and provide you a synopsis, usually snarky. Tonight's feature is the 1951 musical, Show Boat.

Funny story. I recorded the 1936 version of this movie (which is based on a stage production) and then erased it when it was not the 1951 version I was expecting. As it turns out, these two versions are incredibly different. The 1936 film is closer to the stage, darker, but certain roles are expanded in the 1951 production. So, now that I've erased it, I have to go back and find it to compare the two. So, this will be the first installment of Showboat.

Lolita (1962)

I have a series of books and films saved on Goodreads and Netflix, respectively, that, while not exactly my cup of tea, are listed because you're supposed to see them. For whatever reason, these pieces of work have been added to the echelons of "must experience." I just recently watched A Streetcar Named Desire and, one day in the near future, I'm going to read some Hemingway. Lolita is one of these "musts". I watched the 1962 Stanley Kubrick production, considered, I believe, the best adaptation of the 1955 novel of the same name. And, while I can't say I was eager to watch a movie about a middle-aged professor's obsession for a teenage girl, it was on the list and it wasn't as terrible as I was fearing.

Book Haul!

So, our local used book store had a tent sale this week. Buddy Holly and I didn't have time to go until yesterday, so pickings were kind of slim. There was a lot of Danielle Steel, Tom Clancy, Star Trek, and *shudder* the Left Behind series. But I did find some great books! We had car problems at the beginning of the month, so I had to leave a few behind *weeps* but am delighted with my bounty.

Bel Canto by Ann Patchett
This was on my to-read list. I've never read Patchett but it was recommended by Christina of Reader of Fictions, so I bought it.


The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver
I love The Poisonwood Bible, so I was on the lookout for any of Kingsolver's works. So glad I found one!


Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh
On my to-read list. I've wanted to watch the movie for a long time but have been waiting to read the book first. I'm uber-excited to have gotten a 1945 Little, Brown and Company edition! U.S. First Edition for a dollar SCORE!


Wobegon Boy by Garrison Keillor
Garrison Keillor and The Prairie Home Companion make me happy but I had no idea he wrote books. I'm hoping this turns out funny ha-ha.


September by Rosamunde Pilcher
I totally chose this book because of it's name. September is my favorite month. I was born in September. September ushers in Autumn, the best of all seasons. As it turns out, this novel is set in Scotland, which is also in its favor. Let's hope it lives up to its name!


I had been hoping to find a copy of L.M. Montgomery's The Blue Castle; I've been searching for that book for quite some time. I think eventually I will give up and just order it online but not yet. I have it in my head that there will be this wonderful, meet-cute moment in a little antique shop or quiet, out of the way book store where I'll happen upon the perfect edition for the perfect price. I'm strange.

A few of my favorite things II

Welcome to the second installment of my favorite things!

Okay, so it's no secret that I am in love with pretty much anything vintage, uhm, except vintage treatment of women. Ahem, anyway, make-up, hair, clothes, I love, love, love historical, vintage, and retro style. There are some especially great retro hairstyles. My hair is too fine and too short to ever pull off a Gibson-girl pompadour but a few styles I can pull off are:

• Italian Hair Taping: This lady has a fantastic youtube channel. All her hair treatments are natural and no heat, so good for your hair. She does a lot of historical and literature-based styles.

• Anne Boelyn: I love how elegant this looks, while still being super simple. P.S. isn't her accent the darlingest?!

• Headband Wrap: This is my go-to when I want my hair to curl. I have very fine, straight, unrelenting hair. I don't use heat on my hair and curlers just never seem to work, my hair falls flat. Somehow, this method seems to stick. I love wrapping my hair up like this in the morning when it's wet - it has a 1920's kind of vibe  (especially with a colored or beaded headband) - and I have great curls by lunch.

I love all things macabre. With Autumn coming on, my heart turns to Daphne Du Maurier, Alfred Hitchcock, and episodes of Suspense and The Whistler. I love a good chill, not out and out horror and certainly not gore-porn but the kind of suspense that makes you glad you're inside when night begins to fall. But I adore silly scary too. The Haunted Mansion has always been my favorite attraction at Disney (followed closely by The Tower of Terror). I can recite the entire monologue of the Ghost Host and it's a dream of mine to one day own this costume via NeverBugCreations on Etsy:

I adore the Addams Family and was known as Wednesday to a number of my childhood friends' parents because I looked so much like Christina Ricci's incarnation of her. And, in potentially the darkest expression of my morbid humor, Edward Gorey. I love Edward Gorey. He's so damn dark and it is hilarious. Any man that can create an entire alphabet of children's gruesome deaths is okay in my book.


The Lizzie Bennet Diaries! I only recently came upon this remarkable and totally brilliant modern adaptation of Pride & Prejudice. Told through a series of vlogs and twitter/tumblr/pinterest accounts, we're following the classic Austen tale told with new voices and some new twists. So wonderful!

I saw this today and loved it so:

Web comics! Egads, I love web comics. My daily feed includes:

Book of Biff
Girls With Slingshots
Hark! A Vagrant
Maximumble
Minimumble
Ozy & Millie (even though it's completed)
Survivng the World
XKCD


Remember that whole vintage thing we were talking about at the beginning of this post (wow, that was forever ago, huh?)? Well, I love old architecture too, especially art deco. I'm in the midst of a novel and, in my research, learned about the World Theatre in Kearney, Nebraska. This old theatre sat empty for a number of years, run down and apparently haunted. It has been completely renovated and returned to its former retro glory. Since opening at the beginning of the Summer, their showings have included Grease, The Goonies, and The Princess Bride. I've never wanted to be in Nebraska more.


I love the Infinity wrap or the Octopus dress. Lots of people make/sell these but I found mine at CoralieBeatrix on Etsy. I love having one piece of clothing that can do the work of a hundred plus. So many pretty things can be done with this dress.

I love celebrities that aren't too famous for you. This seems to happen a lot in the nerd/fringe genres...or maybe that's just where my attention lies. I keep tabs on the likes of Nathan Fillion (who's big thing is making sure kids read) and Wil Wheaton (who, with his wife, is very active in animal rescue). And, my most recent fangirl moment, Mike Nelson, of Mystery Science Theater 3000 fame, wished me a happy birthday!

I love unique perfumes. I'm not a fan of brand-anything really. I had the pleasure of creating my own perfume at the Molinard perfumery in Grasse, France and they keep the recipes on file, so you can have more made at any time. I am hoping to add these two to my collection in the future:

• Burning Leaves
• Paper Passion

Classic/Folk female vocalists. I like classical music well enough. I don't listen to it regularly but I enjoy some Philip Glass and Eric Copeland when they come around. But there is something about Celtic, folky, classical female vocalists that fill me up with happy. Maybe part of it is that some little dream inside me wants to be doing what they are. Enya's great, Celtic Woman is powerful, and Sarah Brightman has got some pipes but my heart belongs to Sissel Kyrkjebo and Hayley Westenra. For serious, these ladies can sing. Sissel is Norwegian and so my love for her is two-fold (I'm a fourth generation Norge) and Hayley is a BAMF kiwi, she gets props.

I feel like my list of favorite things is pretty girly. I'm going to attempt to make my next installment more manly. It will probably include brownies.

We named the dog Indiana

Take a moment today to read about John Fairfax. And, when you've finished reading about his absolutely fascinating life, let's have a moment of silence for our mundane existence. I'm sorry, I'm assuming again. Perhaps you also have "attempted suicide-by-jaguar" and "afterward [were] apprenticed to a pirate." If so, I applaud you. I have not lived quite so awesomely.

Reading about John Fairfax reminds me of Dana and Ginger Lamb. This newlywed couple left the coast of Southern California in a 16 ft. canoe in 1933 and sailed along the Californian, Mexican, Guatemalan, and Costa Rican coasts before crossing the Panama Canal in 1936. Enchanted Vagabonds chronicles this adventure and I highly recommend it. During the 1940s, they disappeared again, this time into Mexico and Central America, looking for the lost city of a tribe of Mayans that is said to have disappeared into the jungle to escape the Conquistadors. The Quest for the Lost City is considered to be the more controversial of their trips and many claim much of it is fabricated. I choose to believe in it because, frankly, it's a great story and even if it didn't happen I don't feel cheated or lied to by it.

If I weren't so absolutely terrified by the idea of bugs that could kill me and if I were not so fully aware of my own physical limitations, I would be tempted to be an adventurer. Are there people that still do this?

Splendor in the Grass (1961)

Buddy Holly and I watched Splendor in the Grass last night. I Netflixed it because it is supposed to be one of the first films to openly address sex, in particular teen sexual angst. It is definitely a pioneer of the time and included the first French kiss on film (factoid!). It is also supposed to be the movie that redefined Natalie Wood as an adult actress, transitioning her from former teen stardom. I don't know, I still prefer her in The Great Race. For all its touting of sex and sexual repression, the sex part does not last very long. Really, it might also be titled How Not to Handle Your Hormones. I spent quite a bit of this film with my mouth gaping. Keep in mind, I had had two glasses of Moscato by the time we started this film, so that may have been an influence.

Important Life Lessons from "Suspense"

As I've mentioned before, I enjoy listening to old time radio. At the moment, I'm working my way through Suspense on the Internet Archive, a fabulous website by the way. I'm on page four of ten. So, while I am not nearly done, I've listened to a couple hundred episodes. Thus far, these are the things I have learned:

• Never take money from the till of your employer to bet on a horse race or any other gambling venture. Even if it's just $10. Even if the $1000 you'll make on that long shot will pay for your mother's funeral and ensure your future happiness with the woman you love. Don't do it. You'll lose the money, one way or another.

• Never marry someone you've only known for a short time. Even if it's true love. Even if you can't imagine yourself being happy without them in your life. Don't do it. They don't love you.

• Never try to plan the perfect murder. Even if it's just an experiment. Even if you're a genius and you are certain you will get away with it. Don't do it. You'll be discovered or receive comeuppance some other way, e.g. accidentally killed the wrong person.

• Never trust a friend or relative you had a falling out with years ago and who is now trying to revive the relationship. Even if you had the best of times as children. Even if they ARE your closest family member and dear to you by blood. Don't do it. They will kill you.

• Never disregard a wildly impossible story or explanation. Even if it involves the extra-supernatural. Even if you are a rational being that does not believe in spooks, ghosts, fate, the afterlife, or time distortion. Don't do it. Occam's razor is false and nothing is impossible.

• Never accuse the guy who is so obviously the killer/thief/bad guy. Even if every form of evidence points to him. Even if he's shifty and seems completely untrustworthy. Don't do it. He's acting in order to draw out the real bad guy, who is, most likely, the guy you've chosen to trust instead.

• Never agree to accept expensive hand-outs from a stranger. Even if it's the most handsome and expensive camel hair coat you've ever seen. Even if the innocent old woman sees her deceased son in you and wants you to inherit her stately mansion and entire estate. Don't do it. There's always a catch and they're probably trying to frame you.

• Never assume a car crash is an accident. Even if it's perfectly obvious that the cow jumped out into the road. Even if the tire marks suggest otherwise. Don't do it. The cow didn't jump out in the road. Every car accident is deliberate.

I'm sure I have more to learn. New ways of wreaking death and vengeance on foe and kin alike await me. Good times.

Tales well calculated to keep you in...

Halloween is tiptoeing closer and, here on the prairie, the weather is obliging. It changed last night, fresh cool eighties breezes dropped in an overnight frost. Autumn has arrived. The spooks and ghouls are on their way, faux spiders hang from over sized webs on our neighbor's house, and, two streets over, a yard is dotted with tombstones, each epitaphed with an NFL football team (presumably their favorite team's opponents). To get myself in the mood, I've been listening to Suspense episodes while I work. I've enjoyed old-time radio programs for years (Jack Benny, Our Miss Brooks, Night Beat, Johnny Dollar, The Whistler, X-9, etc.) but the mysteries are my favorite and Suspense in particular. I love the chill, stormy nights they evoke and it's always fun to hear favorite celebrities in new roles (Lucille Ball in Dime a Dance is a delightful surprise).

I've listened to enough now that I can generally guess the plot. This doesn't ruin it for me, it's fun to listen anyway and I enjoy being right. But I really enjoy when I'm mistaken. There are few episodes that manage to catch me off guard and, when they do, I remember them. Unexpectedly devious endings, such as The Trap and The Night Reveals, are memorable. This afternoon, I listened to Summer Storm which was attention nabbing because it ended so nicely. While the point of Suspense is just that, to keep you in suspense - suspense is not necessarily synonymous with grim endings but many episodes of Suspense are. Someone commits murder or makes off with 50,000 in cash and, by some twist of irony or fate, they are caught, or the money is tagged, or they wallow in guilt and commit suicide only for us to find out that they did not in fact kill the person they thought they did - something like that. Summer Storm was different and you should have a listen. Check out the Internet Archives and look for these spine-tingling favorites:

• Cabin B-13 (#52)
• Cricket (#124)
• Diary of Saphronia Winters (#27)
• Dime a Dance (#61)
• Sorry Wrong Number (#67)
• Summer Storm (#52)
• The Hitchhiker (#5)
• The House in Cypress Canyon (#59)
• The Night Reveals (#56)
• The Trap (#55) <-- My absolute favorite episode, you'll never hear Aloha Oe the same way again.

Sunday in New York

Another favorite movie during this crisp Autumn time is Sunday in New York. This 1963 sex comedy stars Jane Fonda as Eileen, who has taken a leave of absence from work to visit her brother in New York after being thrown over by boyfriend, Russ. The crux of the break up was Eileen's resistance to premarital relations and Russ isn't the first beau she's lost to her old-fashioned ideals. Eileen is convinced she's the last 22-year old virgin on Earth. Eileen's brother Adam, a philandering airline pilot, swears he himself is as virtuous and that her suppositions of commonplace immorality are all wrong. In the course of her first Sunday visiting, Eileen meet-cutes Mike (Rod Taylor) on a 5th Avenue bus. They spend the afternoon together and, after getting caught in a downpour, make a run back to brother Adam's apartment to dry off and have some hot drinks. It is during their afternoon's conversation that Eileen finds the negligee of one of Adam's girlfriends in the closet and she realizes his lie to her. Fired up by her brother's betrayal and tried of being protected, Eileen makes a pass at Mike, which he gladly accepts, until he realizes this is her first rod-eo (cowboy). Cut to the pair in bathrobes, Eileen on the couch crying and Mike stalking around the apartment, smoking like a chimney. A girl has to start somewhere but it's not going to be with him. While recovering from their failed seduction and Mike waxing eloquent that Eileen's a nice girl and should stay that way, Russ (boyfriend) appears and eagerly proposes to his berobed love, before turning to Mike and greeting him as Adam, presuming him to be Eileen's brother. Well, the ruse would work just fine, but, of course, actual-Adam now appears and has to be played off as a friend to fake-Adam-Mike. Actual-Adam is quick to pick up on the situation and none too happy at the idea of his sister alone in the apartment with a strange man. Farce ensues as the trio struggles with how to tell Russ about the mistaken identities without losing the marriage proposal.

Aplomb

I'm getting older. It's attacking me from all sides. I decided long ago to accept age with grace and aplomb (haha, yeah right), to not fight wrinkles at the age of thirty and, depending how soon it kicks in, not dye my hair. We'll see, I'm only twenty-four just now, but it is humorous to see how quickly age is catching me up. Time is often depicted as a relentless creep, something that stalks you with slow steps. But it seems to me (at the moment, at least) that age pounced upon me. I went from a college gal, pulling all-nighters and making 3:00am doughnut runs, to a stodgy spinster, who also happens to be ironically married, in a matter of months. Really, if I weren't allergic to them, we'd probably have ten cats (please don't mention that two dogs is roughly the size equivalent of ten cats). Now, there are a few things that I choose to do (or not do) which aid in my aging process:
1. Lack of exercise. Gosh, I'd love to be someone who enjoys exercise but frankly, walking the dogs and some light yoga is about as active as I get. With Winter coming on, my chances of waking early enough to get my heart rate going is drastically decreasing. I've noticed I'm not as flexible as I once was, even in normal stretches, and my knees make a definitive cracking sound when I crouch. Maybe I should work on that.
2. As before stated, I love anything vintage. My particular eras are the 1920's-1950's. If I had been my age in 1947, I would have been born in 1923 which would make me roughly 88 about now. And, let's face it, somewhere inside, I am 88. We watch the Wheel of Fortune, daily. Also, I'm cold, so go put on a sweater.
3. I have the taste palate of an old person. Dried apricots? Yummy. Stew? Tasty! Hot cup of tea? Daily necessity.

In a few years, when Buddy Holly and I have children, I will quickly devolve into a Mom-Jeans wearing, Mom-translator needing, Honda Odyssey driving, out of touch, suburbanite. I am proud to say that I currently do not drink coffee. Caffeine dramatically affects me and I've managed to maintain a normal lifestyle without it. I recognize that will change the instant I have a newborn.

What really brought the aging process home for me today was that I spent about 20 minutes of my lunch break compiling a list of weekly TV shows I'd like to keep up on. Because I can't remember what night Up All Night is on (Wednesday) and I sure as hell don't know which channel New Girl belongs to (FOX). Next thing you know, I'll have that little slip of paper taped to the back of the remote which tells me what number each channel is. I actually don't know what number each channel is. I let Buddy Holly figure that out.

Anyway, bedtime is ten latest in our house. I love Werther's and hard peppermint candies. I'm worried about seeing the Beach Boys in concert because the show doesn't start till 8 and how will I stay awake? And I do have a grey hair, just the one though and I keep plucking it. But I think I'm okay with getting older, remember aplomb. Now that age has made a significant leap into my life, I'm hoping to plateau for the next thirty years or so. Anyway, if you really want to feel old ask an eleven-year old if they know who the guy from the Hanes commercial is. If you don't have an eleven-year old handy, just visit this XKCD.

A hot cuppa

When it comes to cooking, Betty Crocker is my go-to gal. Just this evening she gave me a fantastic recipe for sage potatoes. Many Christmases ago my brother, Snur, and wife gave me the vintage Betty Crocker cookbook, circa 1950. This is the coup of cookbooks, the climax of culinary compendiums! This is the Betty Crocker that provides not only recipes and a guide to setting your table but tips on how to maintain personal outlook  ("While children are napping, do something refreshing. Write, knit, or listen to pleasant music"), how to maintain health and posture during chores ("Alternate sitting down tasks and stranding up tasks. Don't be on your feet too long at one time"), and how to refresh your spirit ("Notice humorous and interesting incidents to relate at dinnertime") (pg. 431). It is only missing a page on how to mix hubby a cocktail before he gets home ("Remember Ladies, no man wants a slothful wife!") (the cookbook doesn't actually say that) (I kind of wish it did). This is my absolute favorite cookbook and I use it any chance I get, simply because it's vintage. I love anything old-fashioned. Buddy Holly would say that I'm actually just a hater, particularly of anything newer than 1965, which is factually incorrect because I love Back to the Future and have a deep affinity for Grooveshark, thank you very much.